A Change in Perspective

I grew up going to church with my parents where they talked about typical church things, like being a good person and so on. I was even confirmed when I was 9 years old. But when I was 13, my friend invited me to a day-retreat with his church, and I heard a message that I had either not heard or understood before. At the end of the night, after the preacher had preached his message, I went to the front and prayed with a minister to receive Jesus Christ as my Savior.

I can remember that this particular day was very significant to me, and for a couple of years I continued on in this new faith. But by the time I was 15, I began to have many doubts about the Bible and its claims. After all, so much time had passed since those things had been written. Who could know what really happened? Also, by 15 I was beginning to get into trouble, and the idea of God did not seem so attractive anymore.

My faith deteriorated, and I became an agnostic, believing that it is not possible for anyone to know anything about God, even if He exists. I continued to believe this way throughout high school and into college, and at the same time I was happy because I was enjoying success in the areas of school and work and social life.

When I turned 21, my roommate and best friend, whom I had been partying with through the first half of college, had recently started going to church again. He had several Christian friends, and I liked one of them in particular because I found him to be especially sincere in his faith. I could not believe the things he shared with me because I still needed answers to my intellectual doubts, but I respected him very much.

At this same time I had a girlfriend whom I had become very attached to. She meant everything to me. But when she moved to college, our relationship fell apart, and I was left devastated. I realized that anything I valued in life could be taken away from me at any time. This made me start to question what the purpose of life was about. I was so depressed that I came to a point where I was willing to try anything that might make the pain go away.

This was Thanksgiving of 1999, and I finally decided to go to church with my roommate to see what he had discovered. Within a few weeks, I found myself praying to God, although I did not know if He was there or not. After hearing my concerns, a friend gave me a book called More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell. It was a very short book to read, but it addressed many of the questions that I had. I continued to read more books and became increasingly persuaded towards the Christian worldview.

I then began to study the teachings of the Bible. One of the first things that I learned was that getting to heaven is something impossible for any man, because all men sin and fall short of God's perfect standard. At the same time God has great love and compassion towards us, and therefore sent Jesus to die a substitutionary death in our place to take the punishment that we deserve. All who trust in Jesus's payment to get them to heaven receive this gift freely. To my shock I realized that this transaction had probably taken place in my life when I was 13, despite all my years of unbelief and waywardness since that time.

I also learned that God has given us a lot more than a list of rules to live by. The truth is that God wants to have a real relationship with us through which He is honored and through which we draw happiness and joy. By depending on God, I began to experience peace amidst turmoil, victory over temptation and sin, and a greater capacity to love other people.

Another big change in my life since I have become a follower of Christ is my sense of purpose. In my time of turmoil, I had realized that anything we gain or accomplish in life can and eventually will be lost. King Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes makes a similar statement: that all he had done in his life was "vanity and striving after the wind" and that there was "no profit under the sun." Yet at the conclusion of his book he says there is one thing worth dedicating your life towards: revering God and obeying Him. God promises ultimate significance for all of the works which we commit to Him.

I am motivated to share with other people some of the things that I have learned that they might be able to have a more informed belief concerning Christ. I hope that this website is useful towards that end. Ultimately, no one is forced to belief based on the evidence, yet God has given us evidence and so our faith is not an irrational one. But beyond this, despite my many flaws, I hope that the way I live my life will itself be an evidence of the greatness of my God.